Alec. My dear Alec is 16. Need I say more? I miss my son. I can't wait until these years of him hating me are gone. It is depressing you know....to have someone you love so dearly....someone you carried in your body for 9 months and got up with for...hummmm....let's say 16 years at night for. Who you'd do just about anything for.....hate you. Okay. I know he doesn't REALLY hate me but he left my home to move in with his dad. Realized he didn't like living with his dad so I ever so graciously brought him back 'home.' THEN (this is the teenager part) he realized he didn't like me after all (or Ted. After all Ted set many rules and we all know there are NO rules for teenagers) so he moved back in with his dad and has 'refused' to talk to me. Or heck as far as I know he is just 'too busy' to contact me. Hummm. Maybe he doesn't hate me. No, no he said so. That is right. Crush my soul. My very reason for living....my children (good thing I have 2 more!) SO...with all that said I have started therapy again (Russ Adams is amazing...he listens and gives suggestions all while I blubber away about all my horrible problems...), and upped my dose of anxiety meds (Laura Onerato is my PA and she also is wonderful. She even will still let me go to her despite the 2, yes TWO, hours I spent in her office crying.) At times I spend days in bed not moving just feeling and kuddos go to my husband Ted for just letting me. As for my other two children....Evie and Becca. They let me know just how much I do love my life and keep me going. Not that Alec doesn't do that....it's just in a different way.
SO this is my lesson learned. It sucks being the first born. You are a guinea pig. I had no idea that all my coddling was actually going to turn on me...and on Alec.
Happiness is.....being firm with your children. Setting boundaries (firm boundaries.) Not giving in. Love but teach. Parent don't friend. Have high expectations while have no expectations....yes both at the same time. Devote some of your time to faith so your child hears it from someone other that you. Most of all....remember that this shall pass. AND you will come out alive. Both of you (your child and you.) AND you will LOVE each other.
I love my mom and dad for putting up with me and thank them for the faith and love they gave me.. (both my moms!)
So my last word is I love you Alec. All of you. From your grumpy self to your super bubbly self. To your love as a child, friend and brother.
